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The Abed to my Troy. <3

 sparkles being snatched

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Liz Lemon | 30 Rock | 100 Favorite Television Characters

“If I could push a button and five people in the world would die but I’d get free cable for life, I’d do it.”

George Lass | Dead Like Me | 100 Favorite Television Characters

“I’d say I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I’m not. I excel at not giving a shit. Experience has taught me that interest begets expectation, and expectation begets disappointment, so the key to avoiding disappointment is to avoid interest.”

Charlie Kelly | It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia | 100 Favorite Television Characters

“It’s just that bird law in this country is not governed by reason.”

Captain “Cappie” John Paul Jones | Greek | 100 Favorite Television Characters

“One word. Beer pong.”

Gregory House | House | 100 Favorite Television Characters

“If you could reason with religious people, there would be no religious people.”

Sherlock Holmes | Sherlock | 100 Favorite Television Characters

“Look at you lot, you’re all so vacant. Is it nice not being me? It must be so relaxing.”

Joan Holloway Harris | Mad Men | 100 Favorite Television Characters

“When you wake up in the middle of the night and wonder what you forgot, don’t call me.”

Xander Harris | Buffy the Vampire Slayer | 100 Favorite Television Characters

“It’s funny how the Earth never opens up and swallows you when you want it to.”

Jim Halpert | The Office | 100 Favorite Television Characters

“When did you need that rundown by? […] Yeah. Gotcha. ‘Course. I’m gonna dive in. To the rundown. I’ll be exhausted ‘cause it’s like a triathlon. Did you wanna close this? [holding on to the door] Clos— we’ll keep it—…”

Meredith Grey | Grey’s Anatomy | 100 Favorite Television Characters

“A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that til tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don’t know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I’d have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you’re wrong? What if you’re making a mistake you can’t undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can’t pretend we hadn’t been told. We’ve all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today’s possibility under tomorrow’s rug until we can’t anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying.”

Rachel Green | Friends | 100 Favorite Television Characters

“Just so you know, it’s not that common, it doesn’t happen to every guy, and it is a big deal!”

Lorelai Gilmore | Gilmore Girls | 100 Favorite Television Characters

“Oh I can’t stop drinking the coffee, I stop drinking the coffee, I stop doing the standing and walking and the words putting into sentence doing.”